If U Can't Get Drunk When U're O'd, Why Get Old?

NY Times Why Getting Old Means Drinking Less

If you feel like you can’t drink the way you used to, you’re not alone. An aging body is more sensitive to alcohol than a younger one.

No way.

The National Institutes of Health’s Senior Health Web site today issued new warnings about alcohol and aging, reminding people 65 and older that even a few drinks can hit them harder than in their youth.

What? They're communists.

The reason is that older people metabolize alcohol more slowly, and they also have less water in their bodies.

I have lots of water. Thank you.

For instance, drinking alcohol while taking medications for high blood pressure, diabetes, gout or heart failure can make those conditions worse.

I drink alcohol for the exact same reasons!

Even over-the-counter pain relievers can pose a risk.

Give me some, and I'll tell you if it's true.

Alcohol can also lead to balance problems.

I can balance. Don't worry.

The true message: drink MORE and FASTER while you're young.