April 28, 2011

So Cute, So Hard on a Marriage

Even the WSJ joins the craze.
About two-thirds of couples see the quality of their relationship drop within three years of the birth of a child, according to data from the Relationship Research Institute in Seattle, a nonprofit organization focused on strengthening families. Conflict increases and, with little time for adult conversation and sex, emotional distance can develop.

Men and women experience the deterioration differently: Mothers' satisfaction in their marriages plummets immediately; for men, the slide is delayed a few months. Hormonal changes, the physical demands of childbirth and nursing, and an abrupt shift from the working world to being at home with an infant may explain that, says Renay Bradley, the director of research and programming at the Relationship Research Institute.
Study after study concludes that people with kids are less happy than people without kids. Then why have kids? My guess is that it gives people something to do. Or as Woody Allen explains it: many people define their lives by their kids. Which is probably true, especially for the lower class and marginally educated. I'm also guessing people have kids for the sake of having kids or because that's what expected of them. Then again I often hear people complaining about their kids or that's it a tough job raising them. Then why have kids?

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