"shitmydadsays"

Via TWITTER : I'm 28. I live with my 73-year-old dad. He is awesome. I just write down shit that he says.

"I just did an hour on the gym machine. I'm sweaty and I have to shit. Where's my fannypack, this workout is over."

"You know, sometimes it's nice having you around. But now ain't one of those times. Now gimmie the remote we're not watching this bullshit."

"Your mother rented this film, What Happens In Vegas. I thought it was going to be non-fiction, but it's fiction, and it's about some idiot."

"You need to flush the toilet more than once...No, YOU, YOU specifically need to. You know what, use a different toilet. This is my toilet."

"Your brother brought his baby over this morning. He told me it could stand. It couldn't stand for shit. Just sat there. Big let down."